Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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