i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
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I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
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I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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