our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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