First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize