Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
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We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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