Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
porn star boner night. come get it.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
i believe in u and ur pee
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