I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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