I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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