Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize