He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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