Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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