I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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