he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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