I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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