and i looked up. we had an audience...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize