if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just high enough for therapy.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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