Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize