Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
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