This girl is more easily done than said...
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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