so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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