How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
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I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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