Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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