please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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