question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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