FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
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I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
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next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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