I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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