Already got asked if we're dating
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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