I am spending my child support on dildos
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
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the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize