I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
it's like iHOP with fire
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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