dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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