I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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