I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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