One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
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First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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