which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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