hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize