apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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