plz talk dirty to me
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer is more important than you right now.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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