I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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