"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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