Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
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I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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