did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
where am i from again
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Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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