You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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