Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize