dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize