don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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