the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
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I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
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Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize