you guys were way drunker than both of me
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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