I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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