I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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