Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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